My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness
by Troofs
Summary: How could any of the Gavinners have a boyfriend that is the prosecution's witness? Although, the male lead of the band has unicorn hair and wears purple clothes. His bestfriend had a phallic haircut and wears spandex. Ema see's this and confronts Klavier.


**Hi! :) I can't think of anything about my _other_ story right now, so I decided to take the shot of inspiration I received and put it to good use with this fic. I was looking through court records and found the 'My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness' thread. I was instantly inspired. Also, of course, this is before Turnabout Serenade.**

**I don't hope to offend anyone with this story. ^_^ I just wanna poke fun at the Gavinners. :)  
**

**Disclaimer: Everything (including me) belongs to CAPCOM. :P**

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**It had all started when Ema had heard the song play at her favorite snackoo retail store. It was familiar, but she couldn't say what it was. So with the 24 packs of snackoos in her cart, she approached the counter and asked the cashier,

"What's the title of this song?" Ema asked casually,

"My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness. Geez, Ema, this is a Gavinner's song. Don't you do security for their concerts?"

Ema blinked. "Yeah, but I hate them."

"Oh, wow. You're so lucky, Ema! Hmm, only twenty-four packs today?"

"The fop hasn't given me my money yet." Ema said,

The cashier smiled and handed her the plastic bag carrying the snackoos. "I don't need to tell you to come again, right?"

Ema ignored her comment and just took the bag. She walked straight out the store.

_My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness? Aren't they an all-guy band? Then that means... Aha! _

**Outside Klavier's Office, 1:57 P.M.**

Ema boldly knocked on the door,

"Come in!"

Ema opened the door and practically ran in,

Klavier and Daryan were both doing air guitars.

"Ah, Fraulein!" Klavier said with a grin, "What is it?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Is it important?" Klavier asked,

Ema was taken aback and paused for a moment. "Yes! It is _very_ important, Gavin!"

"Alright then, Fraulein. Please take a seat."

"'Sup, Princess?"

Ema sat down, "First of all, is it true you have a song name My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness?"

"You want to discuss my songs?" he said,

"Answer the question," Ema said. She took out a pack of snackoos and started eating,

"Ja."

"And is it true that you're an all guys band?"

Klavier grinned, "Fraulein, you've met all of the Gavinners."

"So, after listening to the song multiple times and really _studying _it, the only conclusion I could come up to is that one or more of you are gay!"

"What the- Fraulein, that is the most baseless conclusion-"

"There is nothing _baseless_ about it."

"Fraulein, the song was written from a girl's point of view! And frankly-"

"Besides that, all the songs are about _love_, and- and every time you have a concert, the mirror in the dressing room is vandalized with lipstick!"

Daryan grinned. "Other than that, what proof do you have, Detective Skye?"

Ema leaned back in her chair. "W-well..."

"And let's assume what you said is true." Daryan said. "If it was true, then who would be the gay one?"

"This is still just a hypothesis. But assuming that _you_ were the homosexual-"

"Woah, what the hell, Detective Skye? Me?"

"Detective Crescend, you wear spandex and have a phallic haircut!"

Daryan laughed,

"You think Daryan is gay?" Klavier asked,

"No. I think _you_ are! Between the thumb ring, the purple motorcycle and clothes, your foppy glimmerous jewelry, the lipstick in the dressing room being yours, writing and being lead vocals for 'My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness', the flirtation with Apollo, the heart shaped keyring, and your hair being longer, straighter, shinier and having more products in it than mine! Everything leads to you as being-"

"Klavier also uses nailpolish." Daryan said,

"Oh, and that, too."

"I am not gay, Fraulein."

Ema took a deep breath and snackoo'd Klavier. He caught the snackoo and ate it.

"If you're not gay then explain the handful of evidence I just gave you."

"I wear the thumb ring because I can."

"The clothes?"

"My favorite color is purple."

"That itself-!"

"Is it wrong to like feminine colors? Should a girl like the color blue, then does it mean that she's a homosexual?"

"The jewelry?"

"Fraulein, guys wear jewelry, too."

"How about the lipstick?"

"The lipstick is not mine," Klavier said, "and I sung the song because the fans love love songs!"

"Flirtation with Apollo?

"Since when have I flirted with Apollo?" he asked.

"I quote, 'I'm used to being stared at by the frauleins, but this is the first time I've felt this way with a man.', if that isn't flirting, I don't know what is."

"I did not mean it that way."

"How about the keyring, your hair and your nailpolish?"

"The keyring is for the pleasure of groupies." Daryan said, "Gavin said we all have to use one, so when we lend it to fans or someone, we have the chance to say sappy stuff like 'I'm entrusting you with my heart.'"

Klavier nodded, "And the hair and nailpolish, they're all because of Kristoph."

Ema scrunched her nose, "You still haven't proven that you _aren't _gay."

"Look, what does it matter to you anyway, Fraulein?"

"B-because."

"Why does my sexuality matter so much to you, liebe? So much that you have to think deeply about it?"

"He's got a point, you know." Daryan said.

"I-I have nothing else to do."

"I don't think this is a simple case of boredom, Fraulein." Klavier said with a smirk.

"Also! Also, how do I know that you two aren't dating?"

The two glanced at each other then looked at Ema like she was crazy.

"Well?"

Daryan was the first to speak up. "Nah, Gavin's not really my type."

"Nngh, Daryan!"

Ema smirked,

"I am not gay!"

"Then why are you so defensive?"

"Liebe, would you not be defensive if you were accused of something that you know you aren't?"

"No, I would probably throw snackoos at whoever accused me."

Klavier didn't say anything.

"Anyway, that proves nothing. You're still gay."

"You want me to prove I'm not gay?"

Klavier was getting seriously pissed.

"Yeah. If you can prove that then-"

Klavier leaned forward and kissed her. It was a simple lip-to-lip kiss that managed to make the whole room silent. It lasted 12 seconds.

"I'm not gay."

"That only makes you bisexual!" Ema screamed at him.

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**Wahaha. :P Hopefully, no one was offended or anything. Review? :)  
**


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